You can't motorboat a personality
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Randomize
