Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
