how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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