I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
