I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
