who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
