Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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