I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She's the barista slut.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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