I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
