what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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