But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
