next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
