Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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