Your tits are I can't wait for
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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