i don't like sucking hair
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize