I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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