He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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