At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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