Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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