eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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