I can't watch pbs sober anymore
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
