Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
