who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
