I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
