i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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