I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize