I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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