Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize