I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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