All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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