Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
