I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
