Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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