i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
