I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
