yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
