So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
