Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
