So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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