there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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