Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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