ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
