i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize