Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
