She said her name was "party"
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
