Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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