I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
