we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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