Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize