yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
