Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
