I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
