can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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