I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
