from now on my penis is your penis
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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