sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize