btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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