Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
