TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
