At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No subtext here. People are naked.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize