Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize