i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
