Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
